I know that the title of this post is a rather grand claim and you may think I have delusions of possessing supernatural powers or a direct link to the almighty but the truth is far simpler. Let me explain.
At the beginning of April the UK enjoyed two days of balmy weather. I don't mean balmy as in a late summer afternoon in the Mediterranean, I mean 20C with a bit of a cold breeze, but enough for the media to be full of climate change doom and gloom. The only thing that is going to save humanity from burning will be the floods due to rising sea levels. Thank God for these floods we will be saying. Anyway I digress.
You cannot change an entire countries weather through just one action and indeed it was the result of three actions or should I say errors made by Mr Jones. Arising from bed on the second (and last) warm day, Mrs Jones announced that she would be putting clean sheets on the bed and asked whether she should remove the electric blanket. Of course I replied, there is going to be summer weather today, winter is over and maybe we can have out first barbecue of the season. The climate Gods on hearing those words started to turn down the UK thermostat and wind up winds from the North Pole, but to compound my error I also said 'I am not wearing my thermal underwear today and we can pack it away for the summer'. That is probably the moment they decided that a few tornadoes, hail stones and some gratuitous flooding were also warranted.
I am a public spirited person so I will once again wear my extra warm pants and vest and throw away my charcoal in order for the wind to return to the south and climate change to once again make headlines in the media. Maybe we are trying to reduce carbon dioxide emissions for nothing and the key to climate change is actually my choice of underwear.
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